Let’s be Offended

Noam Chomsky

Isn’t that the truth … how many people take their freedom of speech to mean they get to talk and say whatever they want but the minute someone opens their mouth and says something that contradicts or is in opposition to what they say – they turn it to “you have offended me.”

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They use the freedom of speech as a two edged sword to benefit themselves.  THEY have a right to express their opinions on anything but when someone else with a different point of view tries to do the same, then they are not also exercising their freedom of speech – they are accused to trying to take away the other persons freedom of speech. Continue reading

Bullying – Be Careful What Message Our Response Sends

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Noah’s story is ongoing with some sad set backs but also some valiant steps forward.  What impresses me most is his incredible spirit and his desire to do everything he has the power to dream of.  He cries with the pain, and yet picks himself up and goes forward.  Can we hope for anything more?  Can we ask for anything more?

But, his brother, Elijah, who remains in the same school responsible for the original bullying with Noah, has had his own incident.  In this situation, a group of boys sharing a racial ethnicity, have become the bullies of the soccer field.  They refuse to be broken up to play on separate teams and together they wreak havoc with each game.  In this instance they bullied Elijah and threatened to kill his friend.  Now we have bullying that has racial overtones and a much more serious threat.  This happened in a school that advocates “zero tolerance” for bullying.

I have no idea why the police were not called in. Continue reading

Our “Not All Women Have Vaginas,” World

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We have truly slipped over the edge and the fact people are sitting there, conducting their business with their serious faces on, is damn scary.   Remember when you were a kid and something happened and you started to laugh hysterically at how absurd it was and then you realized that no-one else was laughing?  You stop and then try to taper off the laughter looking into the faces of everyone else who is not only NOT laughing, they are looking at you like you are crazy?  Remember that?

That was my reaction to all of this.

We have jumped from individuals who are unwilling to take personal responsibility for their own lives by deflecting and focusing on what is wrong with everyone else and what they should be doing, to entire groups doing it to one another, to now world wide legislation.  People we are talking about controlling our speech and our very thoughts here.  This may seem helpful or some awesome movement to some idiot somewhere but the greater long term cost is going to be immeasurably damaging.   Continue reading

What the FUCK are we Doing?

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I make no apologies for the F-bomb in this title. If there was ever an appropriate time to use it, it is now.

Our world is falling apart with wars and corruption, poverty and disease on a scale we have never seen before. We are fighting for our lives in so many arenas and it doesn’t matter one iota whether we are bleeding from the war or totally unaware as we flip through TV channels bemoaning that there is so little to watch.

The whole world is screaming out for us to wake up. Stop the insanity. Heal the world.

And what are we doing?

We are pushing each other away. We are lying and cheating . We engage in destroying one another on every level we can. Children are killing themselves with drugs, bored that the reality of life cannot compete with the action packed pace of a video game. They push and pull at their parents demanding money, holding their love and attention as ransom. “Do what we want or you will never see me (or your grandchildren) again. ”

“I hate you,” rings through the land. “I want nothing to do with you.”

Husbands and wives feed on one another. One moment they are everything to each other and the next – war!  If financial investment somehow measured the strength of their unions, they would all be unbreakable. They marry with a ceremony whose cost could feed a whole community for a few weeks. They immediately collect the fancy house, a couple of cars and tons of clothes and jewellery. They vacation. They spend, spend, spend. And then suddenly, they no longer love. They don’t love less. They hate. They hate everything about the other person. The person they pretended to be while married, all the things they said about what they would never do to each other, they do . . . and far worse. They don’t care that they are being complete hypocrites. They do it to themselves and they do it to each other. Worst of all, they do it to their children. Continue reading

Don’t Ask Me How We Got Here.

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People look at the state of the world and ask how we got to be this way, as if they have no idea where the attitudes and thought processes come from that support a world going to hell, sans the hand basket at this point.

The world reflects the attitudes and practices of US! WE are the world. There is no separation of what we practice in our daily lives and what is going on around us.

This past week is a perfect example. A tragedy hit in our neighbourhood and a very small dog , the pet of two small girls, was killed by something. The father found the bloodied remains in his yard upon returning home late one afternoon. He shared the news with the local paper where it made front page. I presume he did so for a number of responsible, community minded reasons. There have been a series of attacks by animals over the past while, some identified as dog attacks, the others unknown. The owner of the dog assumes it was a dog attack but does not say why he assumed that, and no experts were called to establish that fact, and there are no other supporting facts offered in the story. Continue reading

Raising Children, It’s Not About You.

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Love this article: This is How you Know You Raised A Good Kid.

It is interesting watching your children grow as adults. I am amazed how little the details matter – like what kind of car they drive, what their partner looks like, or what they do for a living. The things that give me the most pride is when i see them making choices that show they know how to love and to forgive. When they are mistreated and they do not retaliate with cruelty, when they pu aside their needs and wants for the greater good of their own children . . . even if no-one else will ever know the sacrifice they made,…

Sadly, too often, children become weapons for one parent to use against the other. The need to be right, to get revenge, to hurt someone like you feel you have been hurt, takes over and we can waste a life time teaching our children to hate and carry out our endless acts of revenge against their other parent. Think about that. Think about the legacy that leaves for the world and what kind of people those children are going to be. Would you want your child to end up with one of them as a partner?

Please pay attention to the children who are being raised in broken homes and advocate for them. Tell your child it is not acceptable for them to trash your grandchild’s parent in front of the child. Tell them that a child needs to know they are loved by both parents. Help your child, your friend, to grow up and do the right thing. It strengthens and heals the children, allowing them a chance at being decent people with happy lives, and it can do the same for your child. As wounded as they might be, hanging on to hate, and spending a lifetime championing that emotion, only cancers us all.

Diagnosing Mental Disorders – The Work is Finally Done!!

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It is official! The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has finally waded through the sea of human emotions and responses and identified one single state of being that is considered an acceptable, healthy response to life. After centuries of ill health where people experienced everything from sadness to happiness, experiencing depression, being moved by works of art, outraged over world events, grieved at the loss of loved ones .. . after all the happiness and love, jealousy and contempt . . . there will be sanity and order and calm. With only one emotional response human beings will finally be healthy. Of course, it should come as not surprise to any of us that the winner is “being offended.”

For years it was assumed that “love” was going to be the only emotion left standing, but over the recent years people turned their back on love to dedicate their lives to taking offense at everything they possibly could, and working tirelessly to enact laws to force people to acknowledge their discomfort. How that work just exploded into a global passion , well … is nothing short of miraculous. Continue reading

Grammar Police, The WORST Kind of Trolls

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The beauty of grammar is that you get to use it. You can write everything perfectly and impress the shit out of people who care about that thing. You can enter grammar competitions and win a trophy for being the best grammar person ever. You can decorate your home in grammatically correct needlepoint and cross stitch. You can have your own website or blog where everything is grammatically perfect. You can get a job where people will pay you to fix their grammar and may even like that you do it and appreciate you for it. You can work with children who are learning grammar and help them to learn the right way to do it. But note that these will not be all children or all people, just those who actually want to learn how to do it right AND who think they can work with you because your approach is worth paying for.

But you don’t get to police the world or tell other people what they should or should not be writing. Continue reading

Monsters Under the Bed

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Bill Cosby – latest in the groups of “wholesome” entertainers that families welcomed into their homes and enjoyed for years, oblivious to the reality. Like others before, he not only denied the rumours of his sexual abuse, he attacked and belittled the victims encouraging die hard fans to turn against them and victimize them even further.

The fear of not being believed is the biggest barrier for many victims of sexual abuse. Time does no-one any healing favours here. It bolsters the idea for the perpetrator that they can act without any real consequences and it furthers the idea for the victims that they don’t matter. Justice is not just about law, it is often necessary to facilitate, or even begin, the process of healing.

I would like to single out Janice Dickinson among Bill Crosby’s victims. Who has not watched her over the years, with her out of control and often inappropriate behaviour and her eventual stint with Dr. Drew in rehab and not realized there is something really wrong with this woman? When we see people who act out like she did, we tend to discount them as people. We no longer seem to be able to look at symptoms and search for the underlying cause. It is easier to convince ourselves, some people are just like that, and to blame her.  Have we become that callous we no longer see pain? Continue reading