We brought up our kids to understand that things were more important. We told them we did not have time for them because we were working hard to provide them a nice home and nice things. Then we produced evidence of our hard work by giving them lots of toys and things to occupy their time with while we were away.
We put them in daycares and let other people look after them.
We asked the schools to step in and provide ways to talk to them about the important stuff like their sexuality, drugs, careers, etc. When we weren’t sure of our own responses we went with – let’s just take that out of the curriculum all together so no-one is offended … and we called ourselves progressive, liberal parents.
We talked to them constantly about how tired we were and how we needed a break, which always seemed to translate into a break from them. We were angry most about our own missed opportunities and the lack of things we had in comparison to others. We made our whole lives about what we had. We held up those THINGS as evidence of our worth.
We alienated them from other people who wanted to love them and spend time with them … the non custodial parent whom we divorced and all of their family – grandparents, cousins, friends of the family.
So why are we so surprised now when our kids are choosing their friends to be their families? Choosing things as more important that spending time with us?
We taught them to be selfish. We taught them family does not matter. We disconnected them from healthy happy long term relationships.
Wake up people.
The answers are found within your own actions and the life you choose to live. Everything you do is teaching your children what life is about and you only get a few short years to teach them that this world matters . . . that they matter . . . that you matter.
The following is a video of a family I know that never fails to cease every opportunity to do things together as a family. They don’t have the most expensive house or the best cars. They have problems and things to deal with just like we all do. I watch the videos and pictures they post of their fun together, as a family and with all their extended family and friends and think about the future they are building for their kids, and for the communities these kids will live in. Enjoy!