I would be ashamed to have any child I was raising to be heard talking to someone about their non custodial parent and telling them that they hate their “mommy” or “daddy.” I don’t understand why some parents then stand there beaming at the child like they have just earned an “A” on some test. My heart would break if my child were to tell other people that their “mommy” or “daddy” doesn’t love them. I would NEVER put my child in that kind of position or EVER let them believe that, no matter what the circumstances.
I wonder sometimes if these parents who feed their children such hate understand that what they are doing is child abuse. They not only look like terrible parents, they ARE terrible parents. Think about it. You are teaching your child to hate, and you are denying them love. On what planet does that constitute being a good parent? Not in any intelligent one.
You can lie to your children about your ex partner. But the truth is going to come out. Even if it is true that your ex has not been a good person, or your keeping your children away, is about genuinely protecting your child, how likely is it that the entire family of your ex is also so toxic that you need to cut your child off from them? What is your excuse for lying about them? What about the damage of keeping your child from connecting to their own bloodline? And honestly, even criminals are allowed to see their children, so are you actually keeping the children safe, or are you just punishing them with the one thing you know matters to them and with the one weapon you have? You can’t ever hurt your ex partner without also making deep ragged scars on your child’s soul. Take a look in the mirror at how ugly that is.
Buying your kids with things, diminishing what the other parent can do compared to you? Do you think that anything can take the place of the love you are withholding from them? The most expensive anything is just a cheap brass substitute for the wholeness of knowing your parents love you.
You kidnap these kids, you destroy your ex and you poison the community in which you live with an attitude of narcissistic poison that takes no prisoners among the people whose lives you impact. In the end, you achieve your goal, everyone knows you raised THAT child. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind. No doubt because the child grows up to be every bit as ugly, cruel and hateful as you are. Congratulations. Unfortunately however, there are no winners in this game, only losers.