I am a woman.
I had periods and bled on sheets.
But my voice does not matter, my voice was not wanted. My message fit in with those who were told they were not welcome to march with the women of the world, so while the march spoke out for women “everywhere,” I sat at home.
I sit with many women who chose a different path than many of those who marched. That choice, evidently makes us all now, women who do not matter. We do not have a place at the table. Our input into important issues is not permitted. We are the women, who are sent to the outer tents when we bleed. We are not allowed to contaminate the others, except our exile is not for one week of the month . . . ours is permanent.
There can be no doubt that we are women. We had mothers and fathers who loved us, we played with dolls, we did all the girl things with the other girls. We went to university or got a job. We married and some divorced, we had kids and some of us grand babies and even great grand babies. We have careers or stayed home. We met situations that were difficult and yes, some of us were raped, some of us abused. Some of us were/are paid far less than we are worth. Some of us have been horribly discriminated against. Some of us are religious. We are rich and poor, overweight and underweight. We are varying degrees of attractive. Some of us conquer mountains, some of us conquer diapers. We are women no different than those who marched. But they told us we were not the right kind of women, and so we couldn’t join them. While they said they wanted “everyone’s” support – that did not include ours. Had we marched, had we said anything, our voice would have been “booed,” because these women are not about love and inclusion … this is just one big mean girl’s party. Continue reading
The Pez annual Easter Egg Hunt for Children, in Connecticut had to be cancelled. It wasn’t because of “the kids these days” either. Nope, it was because of the people in charge of raising “the kids these days” – their parents.
Pushy parents spoil Pez Easter egg event in Orange
Adults suck because they are always painting their own agendas, fears, insecurities, beliefs, etc . . . all over the innocence and fun of children. Children are capable of running and playing and having fun with all the other kids. They win, they lose, they share. When they don’t share, the natural consequences of the herd take care of that. The other kids stop wanting to play with you until you learn to share. No-one gets killed or trampled in the process, you just learn that “friends” require give and take.
This Easter, one family of grandkids arrived at our home for an Easter egg hunt. It contained an older sister and 3 very close in age, very aggressive, very male, little boys. They ranged in age from 2 – 5 and are constantly competing for all things life. As they ran back and forth on the lawn finding their eggs to put in their “baskets” there were shouts of happiness and good natured taunting. There was some impromptu racing for the egg spied across the yard in the birdbath, a little bit of shoving, but mostly laughing. In the end, all tired and sweaty, proud of their efforts, they handed over their eggs to be put into the fridge to keep them from melting. No-one cared about counting who had the most. In the end, when they came out of the fridge, the children wanted them divided between them all, regardless of who had found them. Kids are capable of a heck of a lot of decent human behaviour when the adults can just back off and not project all their own crap all over them. Continue reading
Dialogue is the substance of effective problem solving. A topic alone can be too broad and ends up with people on opposing sides shouting rhetoric at one another that does not even remotely resemble the give and take of meaningful discussion. People come to these situations with a suitcase full of catchy phrases and half stated facts from half read articles that came to them on Facebook during one evening commute home on the train. The object of the exchange seems to be to unpack that suitcase as quickly as one can, flinging the phrases with all the strength you can muster, and then to grab the empty suitcase and head home. Continue reading
When I was in my early twenties, and speaking at a national forum in Ottawa, an elderly man came up to me afterwards wanting to talk. I turned and reached out my hand to greet him and before I knew it, he had me in a hug. “You are a Saint,” he whispered into my ear. Then he released me and stood back. There were tears in his eyes.
I was deeply embarrassed and assured him I was certainly NOT a Saint. I had made so many mistakes in my life. Newly released from my teenage years, married and mother of 2 children at that point, I was acutely aware of my shortcomings in the “Saint” department. I explained to him that I was certainly NOT a “Saint.” Continue reading
One of the great things about being an adult as long as I have is that no-one ever questions you anymore when you go to sit at the adult table. How I remember looking at that table and then back at the make-shift coffee table substitute where I was supposed to sit with all the little kids who had trouble finding their mouths to put the food in and then difficulty maneuvering that mouth to keep the food in. I cursed a lot. I did not know any curse words back then but sometimes the tone is enough to convey the emotion.
I was never a kid.
I was an adult trapped in a kid’s body. Continue reading
Real Housewife defends marital rape advice in controversial new book?
I am not sure what is more disturbing to me … what she and her husband say or that people will buy this book as if it were actually some kind of marriage manual that they should emulate.
I don’t understand it to be honest. People who are on a TV show, the purpose of which is to provide entertainment first and foremost, who get paid money for their ratings which means they understand drama and controversy sells, end up being role models. We care so much about them and their influence on us that we are willing to get upset when they write a book about their marriage. We are outraged that they might say something that would be detrimental to other people’s ideas of marriage. Continue reading
We brought up our kids to understand that things were more important. We told them we did not have time for them because we were working hard to provide them a nice home and nice things. Then we produced evidence of our hard work by giving them lots of toys and things to occupy their time with while we were away. Continue reading