Anyone Remember the Real Victims?

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This is not particularly against Bill Clinton. It is not a political statement. It is just he is the latest in a long line of rapists who make the same assertion.

They don’t want anyone discussing their past criminal activities, “it isn’t fair.”

People think that IF a person is caught, (which, btw, is the only thing that stops them, at least temporarily, because none of them voluntarily stop, and most of them resume their activities as soon as possible) and IF they are prosecuted, and IF they are found guilty, and IF they do jail time . . . that once that time is over that is all there is to it, the whole thing can just go away.

They feel it is completely unfair to make them forever have to live with their mistake. The further the distance between the time of their incident and when someone brings it up, the more unfair it is. Because the passage of time, after all, fixes everything. Doesn’t it?? Continue reading

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Shame on the Village.

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One of the things I kept from my religious upbringing was a teaching that said “I give unto men correct principles that they may govern themselves.” Everything can work beautifully when we do not have to rely on others, the government, or laws to make us do the right thing. If each man was guided by a personal integrity that considered not only themselves but the whole of mankind, we would eliminate almost every problem we currently face.

But we don’t, and expecting every person to be evolved to that level is not practical and it has never happened, despite the awesome stories your grandparents tell about how much better everything was when they were a kid.

Throughout history, there has always been pretty much everything we see today. At times it was better hidden than today, but it was there. But our grandparents and to some extent my own generation did have something. We had the general consensus of “the village.” Continue reading

Fighting for Families, The End of Family Courts.

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Family Law Reform Coalition – Press Release for 01.02.2016  “Australia’s Family Courts on Trial.”   A must read for everyone!!

I received a phone call this morning from a young woman who asked me to check my email.  She had sent me a copy of Family Law Reform Coalition press release.  I was impressed because in her little corner of her world, where much of life passes her by on a regular basis, she was awake enough to care about what is on her plate.  She is not likely ever going to be anyone that the world will know, but with each event in her life, she is waking up, paying attention and engaging.  I admire her for that.

An overhaul of Family Court is due in most countries. The only people who do not understand the need for this, are those who have never had to use it.

Family court, unlike any of the other courts, makes allowance for people’s emotions during a difficult time, which is the only excuse I come up for as to why they do not enforce the basic rules and codes of conduct that are upheld in the other courts. The most blatant of which is the amount of lying that goes on. People lie in their affidavits. They lie to the court ordered psychologists and psychiatrists. They lie in their testimony. They lie for themselves.  They lie for their families and friends.   And those lies are often proven during the course of the case that is being decided, and NOTHING is done about it.

By nothing, I mean I have never heard anyone being charged with perjury, despite the same wording being on everything people sign regarding swearing that you are telling the truth and it being a criminal offense to lie.

The problem with this is that it leads to people lying to the Police, to Social Services, and to Maintenance. In some instances it is even teaching the children involved how to lie and that our courts do not deserve respect.  Making you swear to tell the whole truth doesn’t actually mean the “true truth.”  Based on these lies people’s lives are ruined, their wages are being garnisheed and charges and judgments are placed against them. Continue reading

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome – It’s Not All on Mom

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Sarah Kovac wrote a very interesting article for allparenting.com concerining Fetal Alcohol Syndrome entitled, Dads Can Also Cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  In it she writes,

“The researchers said the incidence of developmental abnormalities by alcohol use was ‘statistically significant,’” according to examiner.com. “They concluded that paternal alcohol exposure prior to conception causes developmental defects in the next generation. Transgenerational toxicity — a health effect that occurs when a pollutant or toxic substance passes from a parent to an offspring — caused by paternal alcohol exposure ‘is possibly mediated through alcohol-induced changes in sperm’ at the DNA level.” Continue reading

Bullying – Be Careful What Message Our Response Sends

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Noah’s story is ongoing with some sad set backs but also some valiant steps forward.  What impresses me most is his incredible spirit and his desire to do everything he has the power to dream of.  He cries with the pain, and yet picks himself up and goes forward.  Can we hope for anything more?  Can we ask for anything more?

But, his brother, Elijah, who remains in the same school responsible for the original bullying with Noah, has had his own incident.  In this situation, a group of boys sharing a racial ethnicity, have become the bullies of the soccer field.  They refuse to be broken up to play on separate teams and together they wreak havoc with each game.  In this instance they bullied Elijah and threatened to kill his friend.  Now we have bullying that has racial overtones and a much more serious threat.  This happened in a school that advocates “zero tolerance” for bullying.

I have no idea why the police were not called in. Continue reading

Raising Children, It’s Not About You.

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Love this article: This is How you Know You Raised A Good Kid.

It is interesting watching your children grow as adults. I am amazed how little the details matter – like what kind of car they drive, what their partner looks like, or what they do for a living. The things that give me the most pride is when i see them making choices that show they know how to love and to forgive. When they are mistreated and they do not retaliate with cruelty, when they pu aside their needs and wants for the greater good of their own children . . . even if no-one else will ever know the sacrifice they made,…

Sadly, too often, children become weapons for one parent to use against the other. The need to be right, to get revenge, to hurt someone like you feel you have been hurt, takes over and we can waste a life time teaching our children to hate and carry out our endless acts of revenge against their other parent. Think about that. Think about the legacy that leaves for the world and what kind of people those children are going to be. Would you want your child to end up with one of them as a partner?

Please pay attention to the children who are being raised in broken homes and advocate for them. Tell your child it is not acceptable for them to trash your grandchild’s parent in front of the child. Tell them that a child needs to know they are loved by both parents. Help your child, your friend, to grow up and do the right thing. It strengthens and heals the children, allowing them a chance at being decent people with happy lives, and it can do the same for your child. As wounded as they might be, hanging on to hate, and spending a lifetime championing that emotion, only cancers us all.