I Bled on My Favourite Panties.

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I am a woman.

I had periods and bled on sheets.

But my voice does not matter, my voice was not wanted. My message fit in with those who were told they were not welcome to march with the women of the world, so while the march spoke out for women “everywhere,” I sat at home.

I sit with many women who chose a different path than many of those who marched. That choice, evidently makes us all now, women who do not matter. We do not have a place at the table. Our input into important issues is not permitted. We are the women, who are sent to the outer tents when we bleed. We are not allowed to contaminate the others, except our exile is not for one week of the month . . . ours is permanent.

There can be no doubt that we are women. We had mothers and fathers who loved us, we played with dolls, we did all the girl things with the other girls. We went to university or got a job. We married and some divorced, we had kids and some of us grand babies and even great grand babies. We have careers or stayed home. We met situations that were difficult and yes, some of us were raped, some of us abused. Some of us were/are paid far less than we are worth. Some of us have been horribly discriminated against. Some of us are religious. We are rich and poor, overweight and underweight. We are varying degrees of attractive. Some of us conquer mountains, some of us conquer diapers. We are women no different than those who marched. But they told us we were not the right kind of women, and so we couldn’t join them. While they said they wanted “everyone’s” support – that did not include ours. Had we marched, had we said anything, our voice would have been “booed,” because these women are not about love and inclusion … this is just one big mean girl’s party. Continue reading

Anyone Remember the Real Victims?

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This is not particularly against Bill Clinton. It is not a political statement. It is just he is the latest in a long line of rapists who make the same assertion.

They don’t want anyone discussing their past criminal activities, “it isn’t fair.”

People think that IF a person is caught, (which, btw, is the only thing that stops them, at least temporarily, because none of them voluntarily stop, and most of them resume their activities as soon as possible) and IF they are prosecuted, and IF they are found guilty, and IF they do jail time . . . that once that time is over that is all there is to it, the whole thing can just go away.

They feel it is completely unfair to make them forever have to live with their mistake. The further the distance between the time of their incident and when someone brings it up, the more unfair it is. Because the passage of time, after all, fixes everything. Doesn’t it?? Continue reading

Shame on the Village.

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One of the things I kept from my religious upbringing was a teaching that said “I give unto men correct principles that they may govern themselves.” Everything can work beautifully when we do not have to rely on others, the government, or laws to make us do the right thing. If each man was guided by a personal integrity that considered not only themselves but the whole of mankind, we would eliminate almost every problem we currently face.

But we don’t, and expecting every person to be evolved to that level is not practical and it has never happened, despite the awesome stories your grandparents tell about how much better everything was when they were a kid.

Throughout history, there has always been pretty much everything we see today. At times it was better hidden than today, but it was there. But our grandparents and to some extent my own generation did have something. We had the general consensus of “the village.” Continue reading

What the FUCK are we Doing?

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I make no apologies for the F-bomb in this title. If there was ever an appropriate time to use it, it is now.

Our world is falling apart with wars and corruption, poverty and disease on a scale we have never seen before. We are fighting for our lives in so many arenas and it doesn’t matter one iota whether we are bleeding from the war or totally unaware as we flip through TV channels bemoaning that there is so little to watch.

The whole world is screaming out for us to wake up. Stop the insanity. Heal the world.

And what are we doing?

We are pushing each other away. We are lying and cheating . We engage in destroying one another on every level we can. Children are killing themselves with drugs, bored that the reality of life cannot compete with the action packed pace of a video game. They push and pull at their parents demanding money, holding their love and attention as ransom. “Do what we want or you will never see me (or your grandchildren) again. ”

“I hate you,” rings through the land. “I want nothing to do with you.”

Husbands and wives feed on one another. One moment they are everything to each other and the next – war!  If financial investment somehow measured the strength of their unions, they would all be unbreakable. They marry with a ceremony whose cost could feed a whole community for a few weeks. They immediately collect the fancy house, a couple of cars and tons of clothes and jewellery. They vacation. They spend, spend, spend. And then suddenly, they no longer love. They don’t love less. They hate. They hate everything about the other person. The person they pretended to be while married, all the things they said about what they would never do to each other, they do . . . and far worse. They don’t care that they are being complete hypocrites. They do it to themselves and they do it to each other. Worst of all, they do it to their children. Continue reading

The Things We Leave Unsaid and Undone When it Comes to Disabilities

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Recently, as I sat waiting for my husband, I overheard a conversation between two ladies.  They were discussing their “handicapped” child who was now an adult.  Woven into the conversation was all the pain of raising a child in a world that does not understand or make a lot of space for children with special needs.  The mother talked about how difficult her life had been, trying to keep the balance between preparing her child and protecting him from the world.  She talked about how she had to keep him from taking on activities he was sure to fail in.  As the conversation progressed a few things became obvious. Continue reading

Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse Should Not Be This Hard

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Our headlines are full of politicians and priests and ministers and teachers and doctors  who have abused children.  We turn our anger towards the individuals and the organizations – meaning the disembodied structure.

This is a plea.

Politicians and priests and minister and teachers and doctors … and parents, and anyone else … even the organizations … cannot do what they do without the support of the people around them.  There are people around the paedophiles, who at worst support and aid what they do, and at best, know and do nothing.  There are people who did not know but when they find out, do nothing.  There are people who make the victim the criminal.  People who do nothing to reach out and support the victim.  People who close their eyes and say it does not involve them. Continue reading