Katelyn Nicole Davis (Dolly)

katelyn-nicole-davis-suicide

Katelyn Nicole Davis (Dolly) 12 years old. She shared her heart with us, wanting some reassurance, and we showed her the ugliest part of being human – that part within humans, where they believe that everything is a competition and that they can only win by making sure someone else loses.

How does a 12-year-old make the decision to end her life and do so, exiting out of it with a string of apologies for letting everyone down?  What did we expect from her?  How could her life come and go and seem to mean so little to this world?  Such a beautiful, sweet girl.  Look at her.  How fitting is her nickname of “Dolly?”  Most of us will feel terrible about this little girl committing suicide and we will look at the actual people who did this to her in a “them” and “me” type of lens, but we all contributed to this and the many other cases of bullying that goes on everywhere. Continue reading

What the FUCK are we Doing?

hate

I make no apologies for the F-bomb in this title. If there was ever an appropriate time to use it, it is now.

Our world is falling apart with wars and corruption, poverty and disease on a scale we have never seen before. We are fighting for our lives in so many arenas and it doesn’t matter one iota whether we are bleeding from the war or totally unaware as we flip through TV channels bemoaning that there is so little to watch.

The whole world is screaming out for us to wake up. Stop the insanity. Heal the world.

And what are we doing?

We are pushing each other away. We are lying and cheating . We engage in destroying one another on every level we can. Children are killing themselves with drugs, bored that the reality of life cannot compete with the action packed pace of a video game. They push and pull at their parents demanding money, holding their love and attention as ransom. “Do what we want or you will never see me (or your grandchildren) again. ”

“I hate you,” rings through the land. “I want nothing to do with you.”

Husbands and wives feed on one another. One moment they are everything to each other and the next – war!  If financial investment somehow measured the strength of their unions, they would all be unbreakable. They marry with a ceremony whose cost could feed a whole community for a few weeks. They immediately collect the fancy house, a couple of cars and tons of clothes and jewellery. They vacation. They spend, spend, spend. And then suddenly, they no longer love. They don’t love less. They hate. They hate everything about the other person. The person they pretended to be while married, all the things they said about what they would never do to each other, they do . . . and far worse. They don’t care that they are being complete hypocrites. They do it to themselves and they do it to each other. Worst of all, they do it to their children. Continue reading

Zero Tolerance For Bullying.

zero tolerance

Zero tolerance.

You hear a lot of the schools talking about their stance on bullying but what exactly does it mean?

When I hear that, I expect that to mean that should someone bully, they will have to leave the school. There is no excuse for it, no allowance for it to happen, and the school will protect all the students by making sure none of them are ever bullied, BUT, if it should happen, they will take responsibility, learn from it, and remove the bullying child OR insist that child get professional help that results in a change of behaviour. One incident -warning with help offered, second incident – they are gone.

It is not about zero tolerance for a child.  It is about zero tolerance for the act.  Too often we disallow important discussion on subjects because we lose sight of that subtle distinction.  We are not enacting discipline because of who did it, we are enacting it because of what was done.  Anyone who chooses that action would receive the same treatment.  It isn’t even about law or justice, it is the inherent right that every human being has to exist and participate and remain safe.  Those who choose actions that takes away from that sense must be removed.  And then, it is not up to the school to fix the offender or police their actions, it is up to the parents to get the child the help they need. Continue reading

Screaming About Life After It Is Too Late To Fix Things Is Called A Tantrum.

do something

Today I read about a situation that resulted in a large outcry from “the people” in angry protest.  Although a seemingly daily story with just differing situations, this one was of particular interest.

It caught my eye because the law behind the events was one that I was intimately familiar with.  Over 30 years ago when it was about to be enacted I spoke up about the possible outcomes of such a law.  The reactions of many “good” people was that I was being ridiculous, making much about nothing, did not know what I was talking about, etc.  People were not interested.  It did not impact them that day and they had other things to do.  They were in agreement on that one point and the law passed because no-one felt they needed to worry about it. Continue reading

Open Letter to the Millennials or Generation Y on Parents, Blame, and Excuses.

Farewell

Dear Gen Y;

Life is hard.  You had some bumps along the road.  Unfortunately, part of the pain that can come from our childhood is because we were often powerless to do anything about the things that happened.  Life was what our parents made, or didn’t make, of it.  We were just along for the ride.  Children have to rely on the goodness of others, even strangers sometimes, to protect them.  More often than not, those people either lacked goodness or simply did not see what was going on. Continue reading

Sitting At The Adult’s Table.

children's table

One of the great things about being an adult as long as I have is that no-one ever questions you anymore when you go to sit at the adult table. How I remember looking at that table and then back at the make-shift coffee table substitute where I was supposed to sit with all the little kids who had trouble finding their mouths to put the food in and then difficulty maneuvering that mouth to keep the food in.  I cursed a lot.  I did not know any curse words back then but sometimes the tone is enough to convey the emotion.

I was never a kid.

I was an adult trapped in a kid’s body. Continue reading