Family Law Reform Coalition – Press Release for 01.02.2016 “Australia’s Family Courts on Trial.” A must read for everyone!!
I received a phone call this morning from a young woman who asked me to check my email. She had sent me a copy of Family Law Reform Coalition press release. I was impressed because in her little corner of her world, where much of life passes her by on a regular basis, she was awake enough to care about what is on her plate. She is not likely ever going to be anyone that the world will know, but with each event in her life, she is waking up, paying attention and engaging. I admire her for that.
An overhaul of Family Court is due in most countries. The only people who do not understand the need for this, are those who have never had to use it.
Family court, unlike any of the other courts, makes allowance for people’s emotions during a difficult time, which is the only excuse I come up for as to why they do not enforce the basic rules and codes of conduct that are upheld in the other courts. The most blatant of which is the amount of lying that goes on. People lie in their affidavits. They lie to the court ordered psychologists and psychiatrists. They lie in their testimony. They lie for themselves. They lie for their families and friends. And those lies are often proven during the course of the case that is being decided, and NOTHING is done about it.
By nothing, I mean I have never heard anyone being charged with perjury, despite the same wording being on everything people sign regarding swearing that you are telling the truth and it being a criminal offense to lie.
The problem with this is that it leads to people lying to the Police, to Social Services, and to Maintenance. In some instances it is even teaching the children involved how to lie and that our courts do not deserve respect. Making you swear to tell the whole truth doesn’t actually mean the “true truth.” Based on these lies people’s lives are ruined, their wages are being garnisheed and charges and judgments are placed against them. Continue reading
Love this article: This is How you Know You Raised A Good Kid.
It is interesting watching your children grow as adults. I am amazed how little the details matter – like what kind of car they drive, what their partner looks like, or what they do for a living. The things that give me the most pride is when i see them making choices that show they know how to love and to forgive. When they are mistreated and they do not retaliate with cruelty, when they pu aside their needs and wants for the greater good of their own children . . . even if no-one else will ever know the sacrifice they made,…
Sadly, too often, children become weapons for one parent to use against the other. The need to be right, to get revenge, to hurt someone like you feel you have been hurt, takes over and we can waste a life time teaching our children to hate and carry out our endless acts of revenge against their other parent. Think about that. Think about the legacy that leaves for the world and what kind of people those children are going to be. Would you want your child to end up with one of them as a partner?
Please pay attention to the children who are being raised in broken homes and advocate for them. Tell your child it is not acceptable for them to trash your grandchild’s parent in front of the child. Tell them that a child needs to know they are loved by both parents. Help your child, your friend, to grow up and do the right thing. It strengthens and heals the children, allowing them a chance at being decent people with happy lives, and it can do the same for your child. As wounded as they might be, hanging on to hate, and spending a lifetime championing that emotion, only cancers us all.
How many women play games with their child’s father, long after the split up and divorce, these women are still so fixated on “getting him” that some cannot move on and have a healthy relationship with anyone else. EVERYTHING is about the partner who is no longer with them. Hating them takes up their whole life and causes them to do everything they can to poison the child against that parent.
Years after the break up they are still telling anyone who listens that all the problems their child suffers with are caused by their father. If a child is not improving a couple of years after being removed from their “horrible father,” then perhaps the problem was not the father, but the mother.
When women go out of their way to cause problems or involve themselves in their ex’s life years after the split, for the single purpose of creating drama and problems for him, someone needs to be asking some serious questions about the mental state of these women and their suitability to be responsible for raising any child.
It is an unenviable positions to raise another’s child. You are not blood, you will never be first, even though you might do most, if not all, of the hard work.
It takes someone very special to get it right.
Those that can step up to that challenge seem to understand that it is not a competition and the goal is for the child to grow up healthy and happy. They understand they may not be loved as a mother but they will be loved as the woman who raised them. We get caught up in the title. Does it even matter? Isn’t the important thing the love itself? When we focus on the title it is clear that what we are wanting out of the experience is praise and we are making it all about us and not the child.
Those who have alienated the child from their mother, who have taught the child to hate by feeding them lies and orchestrating drama and keeping the child from seeing their mother, are perhaps the most disgusting human beings. I say that because as women, we know the bonds of mother child and to purposefully interfere with those is not much different from what a paedophile does. You have taken a child’s innocence. You have poured your darkness into their light. You have used that child for your own personal gratification without any regard for the damage you have caused. You have done it to a child that was not your own. Continue reading
For all the parents fighting the war for their children, the injustices of legal systems, the gender bias of maintenance enforcement and often social workers.
Remember that your child absorbs the emotion even when they know nothing of the facts. They absorb and internalize the anger. They do not have the ability to sort it into the pile labelled “not mine to deal with.” Everything a child feels is about themselves and writes a page in the book of their life. This book becomes the story they will read to themselves over and over again through out their life. It reminds them that they are good or bad. It reads out each word in the voices of the people who taught them attaching all the feelings and emotions they felt at the time until it has convinced them who they are ….and who they are not.
The story of the 4 Vincenti girls, kidnapped from Italy where a separated couple had joint custody is ongoing. The world watched as the girls were made the centre of a legal and media battle with the mother, Laura Garrett, who kidnapped the girls, insisting the father that abusive and mentally unstable.
The back and forth, and finally in 2012, the heart wrenching seizure of the girls, forced on a plane to be returned to their father, was more than most people could deal with.
Daily Mail Article
Facebook Post by Australian and Missing Children
Sunshine Coast Daily – includes timeline of events
Sydney Morning News
Lat night, an update was done by 60 Minutes when they travelled to Italy to interview the two older girls, Emily 17 and Claire, 16.
Step parents are in an unenviable position. Those who are doing an awesome job are often abused by an insecure parent who undermines them at every turn and those who are abusing a child with Parental Alienation Syndrome are destroying live, none more at risk, than the child entrusted in their care.
Adding children into a home, especially when they are not your own, is a difficult thing to do. Well, it can be done, but achieving the goal that everyone gets out alive is a big undertake. Continue reading
You can bully a child but you cannot bully me nor the millions of other thinking caring adults who recognize the damage you are doing to that child as abuse. Tell whatever stories to yourself that you have to in order to go to sleep at night but I will never be silenced. Keep telling your lies to the people who will listen and nod but even they are talking to everyone behind your back and condemning what you are doing. When we make choices to live our lives in reprehensible ways you have to be prepared to live with your own reflection when someone holds up the mirror. Your anger at everyone else is sadly misplaced because they are not the problem for speaking out against it, YOU are the problem for having committed these acts. I hope that people might find the grace to extend to you when your actions are condemned, that you have never afforded anyone else. Continue reading
“Encouraging a child to betray one of the most important members of his family be it the father or the mother produces within that child a tendency towards psychopathic behaviour. Once the alienating parent has denigrated the other parent to the child, the child due to the pressure upon him and the “power” wielded by the alienator needs to carry on the process of denigration.
Children who suffer from the PAS syndrome develop a concept that one parent is the loving parent and hence to be loved back while the other is the hated parent who has done evil or wickedness, etc., not only towards the alienating parent but towards the child. This has been consciously as well as unconsciously indoctrinated in to the child. This has also resulted in fear as well as hatred for the alienated parent. Virtually all indoctrination of a negative type is carried out by the mother who usually retains the child in residence. Occasionally it is the father or one of the relations to the child who may have taken over the role of parenting. Continue reading
I am not an expert on God Parents and have never had one or been one. I fully recognize that being a God Parent is not a legal position. Basically a God Parent is someone who parents pick to take a special interest in their children. Should anything happen to the parents, the God Parent is suppose to care for the child(ren).
Now most people are named as God Parents and after the last pretty little cupcake is consumed from the christening, the subject is never again raised. Others might make mention of and include these people in special family times and then there are those that make a point of standing up and asserting their God Parentness all over social media and anyone else who will listen. Continue reading